Hanging out at the UN is a depressing thing sometimes.
A thankless task only for those made of the stern stuff. Or the eternally optimistic crazies and the slightly schizophrenic. And some in between. Mostly pondering types. The thinker ad infinitum.
Still the United Nations directed and all the consultative NGOs and IGOs and even the Environmental Parliament, at it’s behest, worked hard at the local, global, and the humble backyard and at home and yet at the most useful United Nations level and beyond to protect species and preserve the existing Biodiversity . Now we must report that we have failed miserably.
We lose more species today and at a faster rate, than at any other point in history.
Still we admit that we failed not for want of trying. Not because we didn’t try hard enough. But because we failed to see. And we failed to ACT. We accepted things as they are… We lost focus and allowed the nations to slash and burn, to molest the earth, to open sewer the atmosphere, to drill-baby-drill and burn-baby-burn, and we let all this go unchallenged. And we let the Environmental Movement and our activists to go to sleep over these most important issues at this most severe hour.
No wonder we failed. We trusted the sweet talking politicians to lull us to sleep. We let the bureaucrats plan to plan. We let them engage us i the silly talk game of forever inaction. The big sleep. Permanent one for most species too.
But here we are working at it again.
As a matter of fact Biodiversity is one of our biggest areas of focus and one of the five simple things we work on this and every year at the Environmental Parliament.
In New York City for the General Assembly this week and participating in the Biodiversity summit today, the EP worked with global colleagues and with many other organizations and the UN to flesh out new Biodiversity and Speciation preservation goals.
Biodiversity 2020 targets are set to change and deflect the forces that militate and force the increasing extinctions of organism species, animals and plants caused by everyday human practices such as forest clearing/mining/burning, pollution, climate change, and the warming planet.
United Nations admits readily that the world has failed to set and reach a goal, discussed in 2002, of a “significant reduction” in biodiversity losses by 2010. All UN studies say that the world is facing the worst Species and Biodiversity losses since the dinosaurs vanished 65 million years ago along with the majority of species on this earth.
EP says we failed to act. Simple as that. We failed to ACT.
Let alone that we failed to set goals… That is a convenient political maneuver. Set some goals that are easily waylaid and misplaced and then simply forgotten. Much like the MDGs.
Millenial Development Goals anyone? No we won’t take… Thank You very much. Out of sight – out of mind.
Yet we are making plans. Fancy plans. Plans same like the conductor of the band of Titanic, playing the Violin Concerto number 12 on the top deck and rearranging the deckchairs to accomodate more seating, while the ship was going down into the watery abyss. You might think this overly dramatic… But is a good parallel because we are forgetting that a quickening pace of Species and Biodiversity extinctions could easily disrupt our own lives by destroying our food and water supplies at a time of a rising human population. And as You can easily see – I never referenced smart human beings – nor intelligent plans in this context.
The world leaders’ meeting on biodiversity at the UN headquarters in New York, at the end of a three-day summit, is just a prelude to further UN talks in Japan in October. talks that might or might not set a goal… Talks that are due to agree a more formal 20-point plan to protect global fauna and fora species biodiversity by 2020. As Goals alone….go. This is a 20/20 vision ”thingy” for the blind folks. And they have it in 20 – 20 too. Awesome. They think that if it rimes it rocks. This comes from non English native speakers of course and serious Numerologists and Astronomers and Astrologists of the United Nations Court of Miraculous cures for any thing that ails you. A massage therapist is what I require but that’s another story.
But the Un makes plans and creates prospects. Pretty dismal prospects if you ask me.
Still look for yourselves: Following are some details of the draft plan that came out of the UN today…
BIODIVERSITY MISSION PLAN
UN Nations, want to set a 2020 deadline “to halt the loss of biodiversity.” The European Union wants to agree on this target which all the experts say is already out of reach. Yet at the UN it’s good to set lofty goals for one and all to see. Goals that the world and sundry will sneeze upon. But goal making is a well respected profession in the hopeful minds department and wishful thinking Ministry of most Governments. As a matter of fact they occupy the same magnificent government buildings like the war of Carbon department and the Geoengineering war on our Climate office and the Ministry of silly walks.
Not to be forgetting the MINISTRY OF SILLY WORKS either. Must brief you about those quickly, before the irate peers start marching into my office and demanding explanations for me neglecting to mention them working themselves silly out in Whitehall with all the rest. On the other hand it might be entertaining to see them marching in silly walking in various stages of undress….
But the UN persists on the silliness of it all and the developing world’s poor countries play along – and the game gets funnier – when they say that such a goal to be reached… needs immense funds.
They quickly round up the numbers in a back of the cocktail napkin evaluation and come up with a complex algorithm that it gets entered into a supercomputer and suitably spews out a ream of perforated paper in accounting jargon that says: In essence that setting the goal of setting a plan and hoping to God that something will happen, it would require exactly an one 100-fold increase in the amount of funds spend today for safeguarding biodiversity.
If this stands out as the de facto number always – never mind – for it is. It comes as the Default option when you test the printer too. It spews out One Hundred fold increase. Have a Nice Day…
They teach that in junior UN school and kindergartens across all the NGO and hopeful politicos too. They teach them at the earliest possible day, along with the ABCs and the junior negotiators now just have to parrot this timeless kindergarten rime. It fits well when they all together and the computer pews out ”One Hundred fold increase. Have a Nice Day…”
As a matter of fact, when you find yourself in solipsistic circumstances and You want to throw in the monkey wrench. you say this: ”A one Hundred fold increase in funds is required. Have a Nice Day…” The opposition is floored. Dumbfounded and rotten silly. They fold – You win.
So remember this if you find yourself in difficult or insurmountable negotiations and whenever in doubt, just throw in ”a one hundred fold increase in funds is required – Have a nice Day… to stump your opponents. Maybe the Supercomputer is unwell too. Or not plugged into mains electricity. But there you have it. We must spend one hundred times the amount we spend today.
Am not one to question algorithms from learned men, and computer intelligence and AI and even long held kindergarten rhymes, but if they all conspire to actually calculate that: It is the setting of a goal we are talking about.
Talking about setting a goal. Not about doing anything. God forbid….
And you know even this dangerous kind of talk about setting an aspiration; is cheap.
You get my drift… One hundred times NOTHING is still Nothing. Nada, zilch, Zero, No mast… Na mas – Empty Zeros
The smart folks at the UN though, would disagree and loudly say so. All the while waving their hands wildly and visibly agitated, walking around the table in a silly fashion. Which reminds me of the Norwegian dude at the Strategy helm for the UNDP. Animation for adults…
The UN well meaning folks might even tell you that we do spend some money on Biodiversity. Presently. Today… And they are probably right
Yes we spend lots of money on Biodiversity today – to kill the damn things.
We kill the blasted critters and insects and whatever else appears on our microscopes and telescopic sights and on the hairline cross of our high powered rifle, called Climate Change.
We are killing everything that is alive on this planet and our turn will come soonest. We are all big game hunters simply living our cool lifestyle. We are actually going big game hunting by going to the supermarket and turning on the lights. Big game hunting that results in tens of thousands of species killed in our sights every year. And we spend nothing on them. Nothing to stop the big game killing. Zero whatsoever….
But according to the UN observers – men wearing a heavy blue helmet against the fibs and the silly talks falling from the sky – and in perfect ”legalize form”, the amount of money spent today that is supposed to help stop the killing is currently about $3 billion a year.
And the current big game permit negotiations center around that, and an alternative which is to set no firm deadline for delivering a goal, merely talking of action to set a goal by 2020. A setting of a Goal “towards halting” loss of plant and animal species. And there are skeptics of goal setting here too. And even Goal Deniers are involved in the negotiations about Biodiversity Goal setting here. Even Lord Moncton is crawling under the tables looking up pretty girls skirts. For lost Biodiversity am sure….
But the UN Nations persevere and soldier on.
They agree on a 2020 deadline for reducing pressures on biodiversity and to avoid irreversible “tipping points”, such as an acidification of the oceans that would make it hard for creatures such as crabs or oysters to build their shells.
The Ministry of Silly Plans came up finally with at least the UN plan which is A PLAN….
TO LISTEN. Yes am not making this up. A perfectly sound plan to listen. That is the way any man – reasonably sane, with enough primary schooling and armed with the Oxford dictionary - will arrive surely at the same conclusion.
A plan to raise awareness on Biodiversity by year 2020 using these rather simple methods – A PLAN TO LISTEN.
And off it goes with the plan…. because the UN folks mean Business: and because we mean ACTION instead of planning we give you real Life examples of how the application of these goals will play out in instructional form and within brackets to easily memorize. The bracketed information was collated from generous observance of existing human actions and the folly of slash and burn societies we are all living into. Sadly the illogical coal and oil consumption that powers up our Lives and Economies is just that: Slash and Burn and kill everything that lives… on sight way of life. Unsustainable to the Max same as the planning process at the UN… But read on for your amusement.
The United Nations PLAN explicitly states: [No Joke here - It's true]
1) Make people aware of biodiversity and what they can do [ie: when you see mosquitoes spray with DDT]
2) Ensure that the values of biodiversity are integrated into development plans, perhaps into national accounts [ie: Buy bigger and more effective guns and bombs]
3) Eliminate, phase out or reform incentives — perhaps including subsidies — harmful to biodiversity [ie: dry out all the swamps and wetlands]
4) Ensure sustainable production and consumption [Plan a planning industry]
5) The rate of loss and degradation of natural habitats is either “at least halved” or “brought close to zero” [ie: deflate your automobile tires as close to zero and drive around to flatten anything on your path]
6) Improve management of fish stocks, shifting to sustainable harvests. Some nations want references to “ending overfishing” and to “restoring” stocks [ie: forget fly fishing and employ Dynamite to fish]
7) Manage agriculture, aquaculture and forestry sustainably [Same as above]
8) Cut pollution to levels that do not damage nature [See number 2 and number 6 & 7]
9) Control or eradicate invasive alien species [See number 8 message within brackets]
10) By 2020 or 2015, minimise pressures on coral reefs and other ecosystems hit by climate change and ocean acidification [ie: reduce the Dynamite fishing around the Great Barrier Reef but continue undaunted everywhere else]
11) Conserve at “least 15 percent” or “at least 20 percent” of land areas and a yet-to-be-decided percentage of coastal and marine areas [ie: See above]
12) Prevent extinction and decline of known threatened species and improve their conservation status [Post obituaries]
13) Halt the loss of genetic diversity of cultivated plants and farm animals, set new strategies for safeguarding genetic diversity of other important species [ Delegate this to Monsanto]
14) Safeguard and restore ecosystems vital for health, livelihoods and well-being, ensure fair access for all [Offer your lands to Disney and Walmart to conserve]
15) Make ecosystems more resilient — including by restoring at least 15 percent of degraded ecosystems. This will help store carbon dioxide in plants and slow desertification [Leave this to Coca-Cola along with water resources management]
16) Ensure fair “access and benefit sharing” of genetic resources. This would set guidelines to allow pharmaceutical companies, for instance, to use plants in the Amazon in return for sharing benefits with local indigenous Peoples. Some nations want a linked fund to help developing nations [ Patent pending]
17) All countries should adopt a “national biodiversity strategy and action plan” [ Plan baby Plan]
18) Promote ways to tap traditional knowledge of indigenous and local communities relevant to protecting biodiversity [Lobotomize all natives]
19) Improve and apply biodiversity knowledge, science and technologies [Hire the US State Department and the Department of Defense to sort this out]
20) Improve capacity for carrying out biodiversity goals.Some countries want a tenfold increase in funds [Distribute freely Monopoly Money because it helps play the game]
That’s the United Nations PLAN – a 20 point plan – none the less.
The whole thing is a giant Daft Plan if you want to know.
Waste of time and effort. Ignoring the elephant in the room, Nations choose to forget any Climate Change mention in the whole document and they failed yet again to speak the truth.
Yours,
Pano
PS:
It appears as the dance of the invalids is taking place at the UN. After the fatal dose of PLANNING that killed the MDGs – now we have this. The United Nations engage in planning about making plans. And it is the very same PLANS that are killing our Climate. Yet, the United Nations proceeds undaunted to extinguish all species on earth in an orgy of planning and aspirational talk of the LISTEN to me variety of maladie.
My only advise is this:
I would have that looked if I were you.
A psychiatrist is urgently required at the UN. That’s what is needed now. No more delay. The silliness overflows and my cup is overfull. Enough. Basta Y Basta.
Act you Bastards. ACT. Wake up and smell the shit. We are drowning in the bullshit here at the UN. The proverbial and torrential Brown Rain and Brown Floods are threatening to engulf the UN plaza and all it’s inhabitants.
Let’s tell the truth for once.
Stop beating around the fucking bush.
Because the paramount issue of the Millennium is Climate Change and the resultant environmental degradation.
And without addressing this we cannot halt species loss.
Biodiversity is a non sequitur without addressing the overall human emissions – open sewer – atmosphere and the resultant global warming.
You can’t solve one without solving the other.
When the forest fire is raging, how can you concern yourself with setting goals to save the cute bunny rabbits from the inferno while neglecting to even mention the fire?
Me thinks all hands to the pumps but then again,
Am different.
PS2:
And guess that after the species are gone and the birds have fallen silent – You think You will survive?
Your turn is next buddy.
In species terms – where your neighbors are gone – You soon to follow.
Thus spoke a human
